Our [Crazy] Wedding Preparations

My (then) fiance arrived on the 17th of November 2014 after about a 13-hour plane ride from Manchester, a few hours waiting time at Ninoy Aquino International Airport, and a 2-hour plane ride from Manila to Davao.

Together with my parents-in-law, I was there to meet and fetch him from Davao International Airport.

GoPro shot of fiance's arrival. Woohoo!

Anyway, the day after his arrival, we immediately went to the Local Civil Registrar to apply for a marriage license. (If you are wondering why we arranged this a few weeks before the wedding, it's because 1. You cannot apply for a marriage license unless upon personal appearance of the BOTH of you and 2. It has a 120-day expiration. So even if we did get one before he left on February 2014 it would still expire and we'd have to get one again upon his return home.) Good thing I had someone help me get us our Birth Certificates and Certificates of No Marriage (CENOMAR) from NSO. Apart from waiting in line to get the latest cedula (a marriage license requirement), the process was just a breeze and we managed to submit and pay for all requirements by around lunch time on Nov. 18.

Nov. 19--we went to the St. Francis of Assisi Parish to have a run down of all our wedding requirements. Afterwards, we visited the shop that made our wedding outfits to fit my fiance a coat, and to rent at the last minute one set of formal outfits for our prenuptial shoot the next day (a decision I made at the last minute haha!) Unfortunately, the entourage gowns were not ready yet so I could not advise our bridesmaids and groomsmen to try them on. However, they showed me my wedding gown, and I merely took a picture of it. After all, I planned to stick to the superstition that soon-to-be-brides must not fit their wedding gowns due to bad luck. WRONG. Luckily, I changed my mind less than two weeks before the wedding, and found out that the gown was generally bigger than my size and the sleeves were kinda loose so I had them repair it with the new measurements. (Lesson learned: There's nothing wrong in believing superstitions; but when it comes to your wedding, be practical and have a gown fitting if it's what will put your mind at ease! After all, you can never assume that your body measurements have remained the same especially after all the emotional roller coaster ride during the wedding preps!) We also dropped by the PAL office because Cyril followed up his Mabuhay Miles card (which, until now, still hasn't arrived).

Waiting for CLN finish his transaction. Yawn!

Nov. 20 was our Engagement Session, so you can just imagine how exhausting it was for Cyril who has had no decent sleep ever since he got home. (More on our prenup story in my next post.)

Nov. 21--we visited the church again, then the wedding shop; then we shopped for shoes, long sleeved polo, undergarments (I took care of my own stuff); then again we checked our wedding to-do's. We were scurrying from one place to the next to maximize our time, so every single day was very exhausting. That Friday was the last day of my leave.

Scouting for wedding shoes until I decided on this pair

I went back to work on the following Monday but the week was also just as busy with the wedding preparations. After work, we had scheduled appointments with our suppliers and coordinator, we made downpayments--you get the drift. It felt as if we were throwing all those £££ away. Haha!


We also had our pre-cana seminar during the weekend, so we spent two whole days for this. I found out that it was fun, actually. At least, I did haha! We met other couples and learned from the lectures, though admittedly during some parts of the lecture I wanted some Zzzzzz.

Pre-Cana Day 1: Purple matchy matchy attire

Pre-Cana Day 2: Feeling fresh and blessed!

My OC notes

A week before the big day, we made constant followups with the shop for our entourage attire. To be honest, they were being a pain-in-the-a**. They were fond of promising delivery upon certain dates but it did not happen. When the gowns finally came, it was as stressful to remind our entourage for fitting. Two days before the wedding, our bearers still did not have bowties. Nonetheless, there was nothing we could do but to trust that everything will just smooth out. (Lesson learned: Jot down everything up to the tiniest detail so that you got everything covered! My notebook was already full with notes, scribbles, illustrations, and we even carried around an envelope containing all pertinent files and documents such as receipts, still there were a few things I overlooked!)

We also made hotel reservations, met with the coordinator for final reminders, met with some suppliers, did our DIY giveaways, made last minute adjustments to the guest list, bought the remaining wedding must-haves like offerings and Bible, practiced for our first dance and the entourage dance (good thing they were all very cooperative), and prayed for the best.

After our confession. Time check: Around 8 o'clock on Dec. 12 

At Marco Polo: Was offered fresh watermelon shake while waiting for our check-in confirmation

Enjoying our brief moment of relaxation at our Cabana Room (for the ladies)

The gowns! Good thing my bridesmaid checked on each gown.

A day before our big day, Cyril and I had our confession first thing in the morning, met with the coordinator again, then in the afternoon got all the gowns, props, and body form from the shop. Still no bowties and tie for the bearers and the groom. I wanted to scold all the staff but Cyril would remind me to keep my cool (although he himself would sometimes snap at me after a tiring day haha). We dropped everything off at our hotel rooms. Then Cyril fetched some of his relatives at the bus terminal, while I had my nails done. After dinner with his relatives and just as I thought things couldn't get any worse the night before the wedding, one of my bridesmaids discovered that their gowns did not have breast pads!!! The horror!! I immediately contacted the "mananahi" and two ladies from their team ended up sewing breast pads to the bridesmaid's gowns inside my room at around 10 in the evening. So, yes, we did NOT have any beauty rest of some sort. (Lesson learned: Do not pay your suppliers in full yet unless you can really REALLY trust them! Or unless it is specified in the contract.) Gaaaaaah. It was craaaazy! Bloody crazy.  But it was all worth it.

Our biggest takeaway from all the stress (and as advised by our officiating priest) is that amidst all the craziness in the preparations, we should never lose sight of the goal: MARRIAGE. A wedding is not as important as the sacrament of marriage. So even if things go wrong (and they are bound to go wrong even during THE day), we should learn to let go and let God.

Watch out for my entry about our 12-13-14 big day!

Will you marry me?

Someone once told me that a relationship is made up of two whole individuals, not partners seeking to be made complete by each other. When CLN (my dear fiance) came, I wasn't whole yet; I was a work in progress. I have gone through a lot of pain, resentment and bitterness, but I prayed for God to make me whole again and to let me rise anew. He, too, was a work in progress, dealing with his own battles. So we individually worked on a better version of ourselves. Hence, even in one's brokenness, one deserves to be loved and to love wholly. In our case, we may still be not the best, but we have become definitely better--by learning and growing together.

Over the years...he loves me in whatever hairstyle or size I come

"Good things come to those who wait. Better things come to those who pray while waiting." When CLN and I met, I did not pray for God to make him my future husband. Instead I prayed for God to make me the kind of wife that my future husband would like to marry someday.

2.14.14--Three years later, CLN popped the question, much to my joy and surprise, perhaps because I couldn't believe that the moment has finally come. I may still be a work in progress towards becoming the wife deserving of the husband that the Lord has reserved for me, but my heart rejoices in the fact that the Lord indeed makes everything beautiful in His time. I couldn't ask for a better proposal than one done inside the Church. On Valentine's Day. With a rose and a ring and a beautiful smile from my husband-to-be. Just like how CLN proposed to me.

The rose with a special surprise inside

I'm glad I stopped searching for my prince charming and allowed God to work, because love found me when I started looking inward instead of outward; when I stopped looking for what is missing and started being grateful for what I have; when I stopped throwing questions and doubts and instead started trusting in His ways.

CLN & KFC always and forever

Thank you, Lord, for blessing me with more than I deserve. I say YES with much pride and gratitude to the man that You have wonderfully made for me. Yes na yes!

Braving the eight-hour time difference

Thank God for online flight monitors! Just as I confirmed via internet that their plane has finally arrived in Heathrow, dearest fiance also sent sms that they are already in London.

What used to be a seven-hour time difference has stretched to eight hours of living in different time zones. Yet as we have so successfully done before, we are ready to brave once again this LDR. Because distance doesn't matter for someone who matters most.

This is me looking like a daughter clinging to her dad. Haha!

Dear fiance has been insistent that tears shouldn't be shed on the day of his flight. But who's crying, anyway? We are, in fact, full of happiness because we know that we are taking another huge step into making our dreams come true.

As we turn a new page in our journey to forever, we are assured that God is with us every step of the way. Our heart is at peace knowing that the Lord makes everything beautiful in its time. And I thank Him every day for giving me a man whose strength lies in his unwavering faith in The Most High. Cheers!

Welcome to my blog!

Yay! After more than three years of hibernation, and a thousand password recovery attempts, this page is back and running! But mind you, this blogging thing is entirely new for me that's why I only have three posts here. Join me in my journey as I share parenting experiences with my darling Kendra, life as a student, perks and challenges in the corporate world, a little bit about travel, yummy must-try food, some mushy stuff about love, perhaps some product reviews, and other things I look forward to sharing. I would appreciate your comments and suggestions, too! Have fun reading!

The Story of Third Parties

(JULY 30, 2008 ENTRY--I think I've watched too many telenovelas before I wrote this)

A relationship is for two people only, but some bitches do not know how to count.

Noon ko pa to gustong isulat pero hindi ko alam paano isaad para makuha talaga ng mga salitang 'to kung ano ang nararamdaman ko.

WARNING: Sa sitwasyong ito, lalaki ang nanloko at babae ang tapat. Kung sino lang ang maka-relate.

Magsisimula ako rito: Kapag ikaw ang "legal" at tapat ka sa kapareha mo, ikaw ang pipiliin kahit ilang beses ka pa niyang niloko.

Bakit nga ba nagagawang manloko ng mga lalaki sa mga nobya o asawa nila?Madalas ko nang narinig na "walang time" ang asawa nila sa kanila, busy sa trabaho, hindi naalagaan. Kaya ayun, konting lingat mo lang eh naghanap na agad ng iba.

Tapos si third party naman eh tiwalang tiwala sa lalaking committed na at pumatol sa kanya. Dito nagsisimula ang katangahan at kagaguhan eh. Para sa third party na babae, ALAM MO NA NGANG MAY SABIT, eh bakit mo pa pinatulan? Kasalanan mo rin yan. Kahit ilang beses ka pang ligawan niyan, umiwas ka nalang sa mali sa halip na kumerengkeng sa kanya. Wala kang maaasahan sa kanya, dai!

At itong si babaeng legal, pag nalaman nang niloko pala siya ni lalake, ayun makikipagkita kay third party upang kausapin ito at upang malaman kung paano nagsimula ang kanilang bawal na pag-ibig. If there's anything worse, makikiusap siya rito or magmamakaawang layuan na ang kanyang nobyo. Pathetic. Courageous.

At si lalake naman, nalaman nang alam na pala ni legal wife na nanloko siya, eh hindi alam kung anong gagawin. Pag nabuko na, dito magkanda-leche leche ang lahat. Dito magaganap ang walang kwentang dramahan ni lalake at ni third party, kung bakit kasi pinasok pa nila ito at napaibig na sila sa isat isa. HELL. Pero temporary lang ito. Kung may konsensiya lang si third party ay makikiusap siya kay lalake na kalimutan nalang siya at gawin na nila kung ano ang tama.

So nagmove on na si third party.

Si lalake naman, ayaw na niyang saktan si legal wife, gusto na niyang ituwid at ayusin kung ano ang mga nasira niya. Kulang siya sa bilib sa sarili ngunit kailangan niyang maniwala na he could still win back legal wife. Kailangan niyang iprove na nagbago na siya.

Eh si legal wife? Kawawa dahil napakaparanoid na niya. Kahit nagbago na si lalake eh iniisip niya na kaya pa rin siyang saktan ni lalake, at hindi na niya kayang magtiwala pa. Masisisi ko ba siya? HINDI!

Kasi kung tutuusin, wala naman siyang ginawang mali. Kung tutuusin, naging tapat siya. What did she do to deserve all this sh*t?

So is it too late for the couple to fix things? Not if the guy really does his part to win his girl back. To prove to her in every way that what has happened in the past won't happen again. To heal the wound that he has caused. It will take time. But he has to do his part. On the other hand, the legal wife also has to be open-minded, to give the guy a chance if she sees that he's worthy of it.

I hope that there is always a HAPPY ending to stories like this. Or better yet, I just hope that their love simply WON'T END.

AT SYEMPRE, DAPAT WALA NANG MANGGUGULONG MGA THIRD PARTIES!

Hands-on Mom

(MAY 6, 2008 ENTRY)

Taking care of my baby right after giving birth sure was not easy. To start with, I found it difficult to rise from bed because of the contractions of the uterus (in case you’re wondering, the uterus contracts in order to return to its normal size). My lower torso was aching, my trips to the C.R. were torture, I didn’t have much of an appetite---I felt like every inch of my body was painful. And because I gave birth when school still was not over, I did not have my younger sisters to help me in taking care of my baby. It was just me.

Yes, it was scary, really scary. Sometimes I would cry when I did not know how to make her stop crying, or when I felt the pain every time I breastfed. I could not anymore look after myself because I had to keep watch over the baby. I had to wash her feeding bottles just in case she was hungry again. I had to hold her firmly but gently because tiny babies still have soft bones. Once, at night, I asked help from my mother because she wouldn’t stop crying; little did I know that she was just feeling cold. And I would instantly begin to worry when she slept for only a short period of time.

I juggled household chores with taking care of my baby. I could not have any decent sleep because she would wake up in the middle of the night. For the first few weeks, she slept during the day and was awake at the wee hours of the morning, only going back to sleep at around 5 or 6 o’clock. It was stressful; it was unbelievable. And when I would start counting the days, I’d realize that there’s still a long, long way to go.

Then came the responsibility of buying my baby’s necessities. The milk alone costs a fortune, and sometimes when she could not finish up her milk, I had to throw away the leftover after a few hours, and it would feel like pouring gold down the drain.

It was difficult at first, but then I learned to adjust. It’s ok to feel frustrated, or incompetent. Until now I feel that I could not measure up to the kind of care that my mother has given us. But that’s ok. At least I know that I’m doing my best. And when our baby grows up, I’d be really proud to tell her the difficulty that her mommy went through. And that it was done out of love.

The Joy (and Pain) of Giving Birth

Sometimes I still cannot believe that I now have a pretty little baby who depends on me, a little angel who gives me all the happiness in the world. Considering what I went through during the delivery, I have all the reasons in the world to be thankful for my precious one.

Before the Delivery:I got admitted in the hospital at 8 o'clock in the morning on March 13 because I started to feel the labor pangs. However, I was not scared. I was nervous, but I was more excited. At last, I would be seeing my newborn after nine months of waiting. I could not wait to be a mommy.

Around 1 o'clock in the afternoon, the pain started to bother me. I made trips to the bathroom alone and in haste because the contractions came with an interval of only two minutes. In my mind, I was thinking "This is it. It won't be long now."

When the pain was unbearable, I was brought to the delivery room and given the epidural anesthesia (painless). I should not be stressed with the pain of the contractions because I have mitral valve prolapse (heart "problem"). After a while, I fell asleep while listening to my baby's heartbeat from the monitor.

During the Delivery:It was mostly the effort of the doctors to get my baby out because I should not push too hard. Yes, I was excited during the delivery, but the few minutes seemed to be too long and too precious. I began to feel afraid. Why? Because as I listened to my baby's heartbeat from the monitor, it began to beat so irregularly. The numbers at the screen showed that everything was not perfectly okay. What was scary at that time was for the baby to be stressed. Luckily, my doctor got her out seconds before she became dangerously close to being harmed. I gave birth at exactly 10:04 on March 13.

After the Delivery:
My baby did not cry immediately, and again I began to feel afraid. And when I finally heard her screaming her lungs out, I whispered a silent prayer of thanks. Little did I know that the doctors termed my delivery "code red" or an emergency case. If things did not go well, perhaps one of us could have been sacrificed. See? I have all the reasons in the world to be grateful that my baby and me are both okay. God was surely there with us.

Holding Her:
I could not quite explain the feeling of holding my baby for the first time. It consisted of disbelief (Did she really come from me?), happiness (She is an ultimate blessing.), anxiety (Would I be a good mom to her?), and other emotions that I can't quite put into words.

At Home:
Sometimes I feel lazy to wake up when she cries in the middle of the night. But then I remember how my parents experienced a more difficult time taking care of me when I was born, because I was 7 months premature and needed utmost care. You see, when you become a mommy (or a parent) yourself, you begin to be grateful for your parents' sacrifices. And it is when the responsiblities of parenthood become so real.

But nothing compares to the joy of seeing your baby smile even when she is asleep (thus making you wonder what dreams she may be having), of holding her and feeling her relax in your arms, of smelling her "baby smell" that makes you wish you were a baby again, of feeding her when she is hungry, of changing her nappy when she wets it, of cleaning her every time she poops.....you get the picture. Every single moment you spend with your little one is really precious.

I have to say, it was all worth it.